The Secret to Creating Lasting Change In Life
We all want changes in our life. We spend much of our lives chasing after bigger and better. We want the better job, the bigger paycheque, the better vehicle, the bigger house, to own a successful business. We all have a vision of what we want, desire and deserve in our lives but sometimes we don’t achieve those things because the changes we make towards achieving those dreams don’t last and we give up. An example of this would be when we all make New Year’s Resolutions. We get all excited to change as of January 1st but then after a few weeks, we give up on those changes and fall back into our old routines. Why? How can we overcome that cycle and make changes that last?
The reason we don’t change is actually simpler than you think. It’s because of one four letter word — fear… or False Evidence Appearing Real. We feel a sense of fear or dread when we think of change because unconsciously, we believe that the changes won’t last — that they will only be temporary. Unconsciously we know that what ever pain we go through to obtain the change will only bring a short term reward because it’s what we’ve done in over and over again in the past.
So how do we get around this? How do we make changes last? Here are the first steps!
Step 1 — Raise Your Standards. When ever we seriously want to make a change, we have to raise our standards. We need to have high standards for ourselves — demand more from ourselves than anyone else would demand of us. One tip is to write down all the things you will no longer accept or tolerate and all the things you aspire to be. Just imagine, if people didn’t raise their standards, we wouldn’t have great people in this world! Think of past people like Ghandi, Rosa Parks, Martin Luther King Jr., etc. If they didn’t raise their standards, would our world have changed?
Step 2 — Change Your Limiting Beliefs. It’s one thing to raise our standards, but if we don’t truly believe in ourselves and that we can meet those standards in our mind, then we will end up sabotaging ourselves. This happens because we lack certainty in ourselves that we can change. We take on a bit of a negative mindset. We let self doubt creep in and that leads us to think that there’s no point in even trying because we won’t succeed anyway. Our beliefs shape every action, thought and feeling that we experience in life. We need to believe in ourselves that we can and will meet these new standards we made for ourselves, even before we actually meet them. If we don’t take control of or defeat our negative limiting beliefs, we can raise our standards as high as we want and never succeed because we won’t have the belief and certainty we require in minds to push us forward.
How many times have you watched a hockey game or a basketball game and just before the player takes a shot at the net, you think “they’re going to miss it!” And then they miss it. It’s because that athlete lacked the power of certainty. They didn’t believe in themselves that they could make the shot. Do you think athletes that set records in the Olympics would have achieved those records if they didn’t believe in themselves? No way! Would Wayne Gretzky have been one of the top scorers in the NHL if he didn’t believe in himself? Nope. So believe in yourself to achieve great things!
Step 3 — Change your strategy and/or find a role model. If we set higher standards for ourselves and believe in ourselves we can always find a way to achieve the changes we desire. But one of the best ways to figure out the strategy is to find a few role models. Find people who are where you want to be and learn what they did. Use them as a road map to avoid mistakes that set them back. It’s the quickest way to achieve the same result. As Tony Robbins says, you can “condense decades into days” by learning from others.
I’ve been taking a course on how to take my businesses online. At first I struggled and had to search deep inside to see why that was happening. After some soul searching, I realized my whole problem was that I kept telling myself that I’m not a techy person — that I’m not good with computers. So before I even tried, I was sabotaging myself. I needed to get rid of that limiting belief. Now I’m finally making progress in taking my businesses on line because I’ve managed to convince myself I can do it and I’ve proved to myself that I am making progress. The more I succeed, the more my brain goes “well if you can do that, what else can you do!” I get momentum and want to keep making progress.
When I look back a year ago when Covid first hit Canada and everything got shut down, I didn’t have a blog, a podcast or do live videos on Facebook or You Tube. Now I do all those things because I was able to change that inner belief from “I can’t” to “I can.”
If I can overcome obstacles during Covid, so can you! Just think, if we can overcome obstacles now, how much easier it will be overcome them when things return to normal!
Remember, you are always only one decision away from changing your life!
Amanda Oling is a motivational speaker, an impaired driving prevention speaker and an author from Beaverlodge, Alberta, Canada. She speaks at Regional, Provincial, National and International Conferences. Her book, titled “The Impact of One Decision” is available by contacting her at amanda@amandaoling.com or through Chapters, Coles and Indigo at this link:
